Jennifer Engstler

...I'm 2nd from left.

My name is Jennifer Engstler and I am 37 years old. I was first diagnosed with GIST in April 2005 after having gone through a week of tests and uncertainty. I was extremely anemic and knew something was wrong with me, although part of me didnt want to admit it as I'd been the healthiest I'd ever been in my life in the months leading up to my diagnosis. I was vegan and stopped drinking and was taking my yoga practice to a new level.

After having an endoscopy I was told I had a bleeding ulcer that looked as if it were on something. My blood level was at 4.8 (yes that low!) every health care professional I met was flabbergasted when they saw it and couldnt believe I could even function. Every time someone asked me how I was able to walk and talk my response was " power of the mind!" I was immediately sent to NYU ER and given 2 blood transfusions. That was on a Friday. Saturday morning I had a CAT scan, Sunday I was told I had a tumor. Monday I met with my doctors and decided to have surgery- which was on Tuesday.

The tumor, which was 4.5cm, was cut out along with about 15% of my stomach. It was a whirlwind week and never had time to really let it all sink in. After surgery my mother was told by my surgeon that I had GIST. We had no idea what that was but knew I'd be following up with an oncologist. I figured I had it cut out of me, I'm fine! It was very hard to grasp what I had and don't feel I was given all the proper information at that time-although part of it was me sticking my head in the ground and not wanting to acknowledge that I had cancer- that couldn't happen to me, im too young! and healthy!

The doctor offered me Gleevec as adjuvant therapy and I declined; I didnt think it would return and I wanted a normal life again-and no more drugs. I'm the type of person who will not even take an aspirin for a headache, so voluntarily taking a drug wasnt in my plan at that point.

A year and a half later a tumor returned. This was a serious blow; I felt guilt and anger as I thought "if I only took Gleevec this may not be happening", reality was slapping me in the face-I was pretty devastated at the fact it returned and I had to have surgery again. The tumor wasnt big, about 2.5cm. I knew I'd have to go on Gleevec afterwards. This was when I finally started to dive in and find more information on the disease and my drug. I had my second surgery March 26, 2007. I went in thinking half my stomach would be removed this time, but the tumor was actually outside, so thankfully the healing time was much faster and easier. I became pretty depressed for awhile. I hadn't found anyone who had this cancer-or even heard of it- I searched so many cancer sights and asked social workers, but no one knew of any GISTers. Finally after visiting my primary doctor for a check up he noticed my depression and helped me find support groups. They were immensely helpful in coping with depression, understanding what I have and how to survive.

In September of 07, after being on Gleevec for about 5.5 months, I went for a follow up CAT scan only to find there is another small tumor on the stomach. Again another blow, but I decided to have my dosage upped to 600mg as the thought of another surgery so soon is too overwhelming and its also small so would prefer an alternative method of controlling it- it seems some doctors are too quick to recommend surgery.

I am regaining the physical strength I had before the 2nd surgery and trying to get control of my life and strengthen myself emotionally for whatever else may come. I also see a therapist on a regular basis who deals with cancer patients. Talking about my whole situation with someone who is completely objective and not in this situation is extremely helpful for me. I recommend it to everyone!

I am also now on a quest to find how diet can effect me- because no matter what any doctor says I believe what you ingest does effect you down to a cellular level. I don't believe it will cure me but I do believe it will help me to get through this a lot easier and let my body be the fighter I know it to be. 'As I said to the doctors and nurses the first time around "power of the mind" -its proved to me the mind/body connection- positive thinking and visualizing good health. I try to include this in my daily routine along with learning Chi Kung to help my body and mind heal.

This cancer is certainly not a blessing, but it has made me realize how much family and friends do care about me-and how wonderful life is! and how I intend to be on this earth for a long time!